popcornmassacre: ugh summer look at my awful tan line
Sometimes I Wonder about Fireworks
fishingboatproceeds: Sometimes I wonder if I will live to see a day when hearing the sound of fireworks exploding in the distance does not lead to the following chain of thoughts: 1. I think that’s probably fireworks, not gunfire, right? 2. Fireworks is a weird word. Fireworks. Fire works. Fire that works. Fireworks. What a weird word. 3. Baby you’re a firework come on show ‘em what you’re...
Me: Hey close the door
Parent: *leaves the door open 2 centimeters*
Me: *dying whale noise*
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!
me: not with that attitude
putting on skinny jeans
step one: right leg
step two: left leg
step three: wiggle
step four: jump
pizzaforpresident: “Today sucks, don’t text” types the fifteen year old girl as she updates her facebook status. She picks up her Blackberry Bold 8800 and waits 5 seconds. Her phone begins to vibrate with tremendous force as every single one of her friends sends her a message reading “What’s wrong?” The girl smiles smugly and leans back in her chair, an overwhelming feeling of satisfaction...
me: omg i need to stop saying omg
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for...
lynz723: Made my day. love this.
Me: Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on.
Parents: Ok, cool.
Me: Your luggage is outside
whenever you feel ordinary just remember that you’re the only one with that url
senor-cactuar: how about the international justice league of super acquaintances
what was high school like for lizzie mcguire though like she goes home after impersonating an italian pop star and half of her class and like the rest of the world saw that she can sing and perform like did she just go to high school and date gordo and go to college with him or what happened to lizzie mcguire
If you put root beer in a square glass do you get...
korrasponding: lampsarepeopletoo: audiodude: IM LAUGHING SO HARD HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD. MINDFUCK. LOL MATH JOKES NEVER GET OLD.
me: does 5 situps
me: where are my abs
12th graders: ew 11th graders
11th graders: ew 10th graders
10th graders: ew 9th graders
9th graders: ew middle schoolers
middle schoolers: ew elementary kids
elementary kids: ew babies
babies: ew fetus
fetus: ew wait how am i talking
at school: can you stop talking because i dont care
cosmothefairy: you’re not a true fan unless someone plugs you in and you start cooling people down